As indulgent and impractical as the phrase “self-care” may sound, all it really is is a few basic habits that are crucial to our functioning as human beings. Growing up, most of us had the limited belief that the more we sacrificed, the bigger the reward ‘in the end’. You work long hours and put in overtime, sacrificing your holidays to meet a deadline, which could possibly lead to recognition, which in turn could lead to a promotion, which would then equal ‘happiness’. But all that leads to is burnout, which is counterproductive to the end you had envisioned for yourself. While you think you’re working hard, you’re not working efficiently.
It’s so easy to neglect taking care of ourselves because when we’re busy and overwhelmed, and it gets to a point where even a small reprieve feels like a luxury. When I worked for Groupon Philippines back in 2011, I was working more than 14 hours a day, eating on the go and surviving on McDonalds and of pizza, getting an average of three hours of sleep and working right through my weekends to catch up on ever impending deadlines. I thought this was what living the dream was all about. Boy, I didn’t know how wrong I was.
I learned my lesson after falling sick from the toxic lifestyle, and learned about self-care and putting myself first before anyone else.Self-care actually helps you make more progress faster for a few reasons:
- It prevents “overload burnout”. You know how this looks like: When I worked at one of the big call centers, it was common for agents to go AWOL and just not show up for work anymore, just simply having given up.
- Reduces the negative effects of stress. A small amount of stress serves its purpose, but being constantly overwhelmed by it just breaks you down. Taking care of yourself means keeping your stress from taking control of you, so you can function at full capacity.
- It helps you refocus. Have you ever been stuck on a problem you just can’t wrap your head around, go for a walk, and then realize the answer was staring you right in the face? Breaks are the epitome of self-care, and studies show they actually help you perform better.
I used to treat self-care like some sort of reward. It’s not. It’s part of a process. When I worked at Groupon Philippines running the editorial department, I had a snack box filled with all sorts of cookies, biscuits, instant noodles, and chips for the staff, and we would dig into as a treat, and would ‘reward’ myself with a full meal every now and again. All I was really doing was making myself work harder, with my body running on sugar, MSG, and fat instead of opting for a nutritious meal. I forgot what it meant to take care of myself, confusing the convenient ‘treat’ for the meal and the meal for a ‘treat’. How messed up was that?
After turning up my nose at self-care and paying the price, I can say that I am a lot more happier with my life and don’t burnout as often, even with all the hats I juggle. If you’re looking to be more mindful about where you incorporate self-care into your life (which believe me, you should!), here are a few places to start:
Stick to Your Schedule
The French have it right, passing a law banning work emails after 6 o’clock for a better work-life balance. I was working a ridiculous amount of hours a day, and still felt like I wasn’t getting enough done, punishing myself to meet the never-ending urgent deadlines. Most of the time I was just stressed, irritable, and unfocused, which is totally normal, according to research from John Pencavel of Stanford University. He found that after about 50 hours of work, employee productivity and output plummets. Nowadays, I know when to say ‘No’.
Prioritize Nutritious Meals + Exercise
Exercise had not been on the top of my priorities list when I was in my 20s. In my head, I was walking everywhere, so that was more or less the same as going to the gym. It’s easy to neglect exercise when you’re overextended with work since it requires time, energy, and often a change of clothes and a trip to the shower. Now that I’m in my 30s, I miss my metabolism and 24-inch waistline and have to work thrice as heard to maintain where I’m at now.
Nowadays, my exercise routine consists of walking the dogs (having a high energy husky forces me to run) as well as a yoga and meditation practice that keeps me grounded. I also keep a few apps on my phone that keep me motivated (Nike Training, Sworkit, and Aaptiv) as well as my Fitbit that keeps me conscious of how much I move in a day. And then, of course, there are days where I just can’t be bothered to wake up early. Or it’s storming outside. Or I have a really early day. What do I do? I make time for a workout later (the KFit app makes finding a gym or yoga nearby super convenient). You just need to get it done.
Fun fact: I also work as a food and travel writer when I’m not life coaching, which makes prioritizing nutritious meals to be quite tough, especially when your job entails tasting burgers all week long. I also live by myself, so it can be very tempting to go online and order a pizza and liter of soda when I have five deadlines on my tail and can’t be bothered to take the time to cook or put a salad together.
My solution to this is to put together a meal plan every Saturday along with the grocery shop, and prep everything I need for the week on Sunday, with my food portioned out and all I have to do is reheat all throughout the week. While I’m aware that I may overindulge in the food department for work, I try to make sure that what I have waiting for me at home are healthy, home-cooked meals and snacks – lots of fruit, chia, spirulina and coconut water for smoothies, organic leafy greens for salads, a fresh batch of hummus and tzatziki, and a whole lot of chicken and vegetables.
Spend On What Matters
I used to think that being busy and being productive were the same thing, so I’ve work 80-90 hours a week, thinking this was what success must feel like. I wasn’t really getting anywhere though. For the most part, I just felt like I was chasing my own tail, trying to beat one deadline after the next, after the next. It wasn’t progress at all, just the illusion of it. I had a daily tick list of what I needed to get done and felt a certain feeling of accomplishment once I was able to cross out everything on my to-do list for the day.
Sometimes, real progress means being unproductive. It can be difficult for you to take a day off to just relax and enjoy yourself, but that’s exactly what we need to do in the spirit of self care. Business coach Mark McGuinness suggests on focusing on that “one big thing” each day that would make you feel accomplished, so you’re aware of what really matters to you, which makes it easier to prioritize your time accordingly.
It’s the same with money. When we’re stressed, it’s so easy to let off some steam by spending mindlessly, which just makes things worse, as money can be a huge source of stress for a lot of us. Learning to manage it is another way to embrace self-care, and you can start by creating a budget with a purpose, even if it’s getting out of debt, it helps you declare why getting out of debt is important to your bottomline. Maybe it’s another goal like wanting to travel or wanting to invest. Either way, make that goal about you, and not only will you feel better about it, you’ll also be more determined to stick to it and not stress about it.